So here i am again, another night i am up thinking instead of sleeping.. But maybe this will be the last one, (cause that doesn't sound like a suicide note or anything, maybe later i don't know.. anyway) So i'm thinking about this girl, she's beautiful and just amazing, honestly i love her but shes so difficult, and i haven't a clue how she feels about me, as far as love,, we were dating for few months and she started to push me away, i pushed back, i didn't want to lose her, so she showed interest, and i upset her one day, i tried to explain but she wouldn't have it, then she began to lie to me saying she never liked me telling me she loved her ex and confusing the shit out of me.. So i fought for her, i slowly tried to fix us and i would get so close and she would pull away.. We agreed to stop trying to be with each other, so we both go out with people, nothing serious for me but she took a picture with this guy she met and i got jealous, but i figured if we could get through this we could be best friends or something, but she dressed up one day real nicely, and went to lunch with a mutual friend, there they talked about me, and how much we should be together.. So the next few days she got close to me every chance she got, the weekend came i text her and she didn't reply, she had a story to tell of course but i was told she was with him,, she tries to explain to me that she wants me and all but she hasn't got the time to even text me, but when we are out she text people.. She makes all the oh i have a crush, and i love this guy comments but never puts a name on them, and so you would think just ask her she'll say yes there are about you.. Well i don't know if i want them to be any more, i met another girl that seems perfect for me she's cute and she likes my music, she's my type,, i like her a lot, and i don't even know her name.. I think i finally worked it out with the one i got and another shows up, and i'm seriously considering giving her a chance, i don't know what i'm doing right now but its got to be real if she makes me consider leaving the one im in love with already, right?..
what are this, the woes of an empty soul, the bitter pain of the hearts desire..
I like art, music, poetry, and creating, and she likes horses,, many times we have tried to end this, now that we are putting it together its gonna fall apart, maybe i should have let her leave the first time she tried..
I'm tired of feeling this way.. I need a new home..
Listening to: The repetion of thoughts- in my head..
Watching: Myself ruin what i've fought for so hard..